Monday, July 16, 2012

Please don't compare my boys (part2)

Tukang tulis... Syida@Mrs K at 7:05 PM
Hello peeps...boys still on mc hari ni. Demam dah ok tapi batuk2 pula yang sangat lebat...tesion mak dengar okeh. Si Tisya pun baru jer baik demam pagi ni...Alhamdulillah. Semoga anak2 mama sihat walafiat. Doakan anak2 saya yer. TQ

BTW..this is something I want to share with readers today...another incident happened to my boys regarding comparing or labeling matter.(pls refer previous entry) Thank you for reading.
..........

Kesian pada twin or multiples sebab selalunya mereka akan dibandingkan. But Mama and Mr Hubby tried our very best not to do this because we know their potential. Tapi yang sakitnya nak terangkan pada orang luar dari keluarga kami bahawa we dont appreciate their gesture or comment. Selalu...memang selalu sangat people akan cakap, " Owh..walau Haziq abang tapi dia rendah sikit kan...Owh Haziq abang? Kenapa badan dia kecik dari Hazim? Hazim makan sorang masa dalam perot Mama ye sebab tu gemuk sikit?...Oooo Haziq handsome sikit la dari Hazim...Hazim tembam sikit....Haziq nampak confident buat persembahan dari Hazim...Hazim nampak takut2....Hazim cautious but Haziq selamba jer kan..cool jer..." 

OWH Shut up! (I can just said that dalam hati..)pendapat2 cenggini I really dont like and felt sick to the bone & heart. Bab tinggi, rendah ni bukan beza sangat...beberapa cm sajer okay. Berubah muka Haziq bila org cakap macam tu! And immediately I will hug my boys and said "Beza tapi he is a good abang...kan Haziq?.." and I will slowly said without the boys hearing " Please don't say that. Haziq don't like that and its not nice". Bab Hazim tembam la, makan banyak dari Haziq la kurang handsome dari Haziq la or Hazim nampak tak confident la..what so ever..please la jangan cakap macam tu pada anak2 saya. You hurt his feeling and mine. Do you know Hazim is such a gentle brother? Do you know he always remind Haziq of his songkok before going to sek agama? Do you know Hazim don't mind playing masak2 with Tisya if Tisya asked him so? Do you know Hazim always remind Haziq not to play around in class or do stupid things at school that might injured him? or Do you know Hazim worked really hard for his solo performance at the concert? Do you know Hazim will hold Haziq when Haziq was having fever at school? Do you know this "tembam boy" always make sure Haziq remember to do his homework?Grrrr.....

As for Haziq, Do you know walaupun badan dia kecil sikit dari Hazim dia akan cari who ever yang baling pensel pada Hazim kat sekolah? Do you know he always beratur belakang Hazim just to make sure he can see if anybody hurt Hazim? Do you know Haziq love to sleep very close to Hazim so that he can have a good sleep?..Haaaaa tak tahu kan.... Banyak yang Mama Abah tahu tapi org lain tak tahu. Even their grandparents pun tak tahu. So please kalau nak mulakan bual bicara tapi takde idea, don't talk such crap. Its hurt okay.

Kami bersyukur dapat kembar tambahan ini anak sulung kami. Sangat2 bersyukur. Kami pun takde niat nak menyombong tapi kami ada hak untuk protect hati anak2 kami. Saya percaya ibubapa yang mempunyai kembar juga berpendapat begitu. Somehow jangan lupa anak2 yang bukan kembar pun tak suka dibandingkan sesama adik beradik. So please respect and try to see things differently.

Ada ketikanya bila twin need to do solo performance people will excitedly wait to see their performance. Then they will excitedly compared them. Owh....pleaselah! Kadang2 review orang2 ni macam nak masuk paper pun ader. Kalau twin ni jadi artis sure lagi teruk kan. Jangan jadi artis la ye nak...Mama tak sanggup.

Both of them have their personal preferences but they love to play together. Yes, they do argued and had brotherly argument but still they love each other deeply and I know it. By giving negative label or comparing them this will drew them apart. Making them having small dissatisfaction towards each other and this is dangerous. Sooner or later it will made them biggest enemy.

Cakap pasal performance, Haziq ada masanya kurang mahir bermain sesetengah lagu semasa praktis. Hazim lebih komited dan berusaha keras. Tapi ketika concert, Haziq akan buat persembahan dulu dan amazingly dia bermain dgn baik. Yet Hazim got nervous and played a bit shaky. I noticed this because I monitored their practice daily. But Hazim had done his best. Untuk main menggunakan kedua belah tangan dengan notes yang panjang untuk umur 7 tahun sangat susah yer kawan2. I know because I went to their class together with them since they are 4 years plus!.  So myself and hubby always said to both of them we were proud of u two. Hazim pernah cakap " But Hazim tak main dengan lancar tadi" We said " Its ok. We know you are good and had done your best" Hazim smile and that is priceless!

I read a book called " Parenting School Age Twins and Multiples-by Christina Baglivi Tinglof". One of the chapter in the book advised parents not to discuss your twin school performance with their teacher by asking both of them sit together with u. Ask one by one and discuss with the teacher. Then had a personal conversation with the first twin then the other one and reward them fairly. Never say " Why your brother is better than u? You are in the same class learning the same thing?" Jangan la cakap macam tu..rimas dorang. Sok2 dia buat bodoh jer kat kita bila kita komplain...kita gak yg sakit hati.

Tapi kalau terdesak nak compare pun biar positif sikit. Mama and Mr Hubby akan compare bila hal2 macam ni berlaku
Abah: "Kenapa Haziq copy buku Hazim?"
Haziq: "Haziq tak sempat nak salin apa yang cikgu tulis tadi"
Abah: "Kenapa Hazim sempat tapi Haziq tak? Haziq borak yer"
Haziq: " Tempat Haziq silau so selalu tak jelas bila cikgu dah tulis hujung2"
Abah: "ok"
(Di sek agama, Ustazah asingkan tempat duduk dorang. Haziq duduk tepi tingkap, Hazim duduk tengah :P)

Mama: "Kenapa lemah jer ni?"
Haziq: "Haziq tak larat nak main. Asyik batuk jer"
Mama: "Kan demam dah baik.Jangan la lemah sangat. Sakit kena lawan. Kan Abah dah pesan. Tengok
             Hazim main jer dari tadi walau batuk. Tisya pun lagi lasak. Sana-sini sepah. Dia pun batuk jugak"
Haziq:"Dia kuat. Haziq dah boring batuk. Baik baring jer"
Mama:"So Haziq tak kuat ker macam Hazim. Sama jer. Yang penting kita la yang kena pikir kita kuat. Pergi 
            main. Kalau Haziq tak main Hazim kena practice music sekarang" :)
Hazim:"Eh..apasal macam tu pulak?.....Ala...Haziq mari la main dengan Hazim.."
Mama:"Tak kira, kalau Haziq tak main asyik baring jer, Hazim yang kena practice"
Haziq:"Laaaa....oklah..gi main la ni.."


lepas 1 jam....


Mama:"Dah gi tido. Gi charge battery'
Haziq & Hazim: "Laaaa tido pulak...tadi suruh main..."


Hahahaha....kuasa seorang Ibu sangat awesome....sukehatimamajerkan....


anyway....please dont label or compare my children..dont do that to your children too. Kalau dah terbuat or terbiasa kita perbetulkan diri demi anak2. Tak rugi pun kan....
They gaduh

They kawan balik..




just another day with my children... a cup of nescafe while waiting my hunny bunny hubby..huhuhu  XOX










6 nak komen..:

wardah @ fie shah said...

Kak Syida, I know how u feel. Infact every mom does. Kdg2 org ni tak reti berbahasa kan. Nak borak2 tp takde modal, pi compare anak org pula. Kesian the boys. Skt hati juga kalau pi compare anak kita dgn anak dia. Itu lagi tak menahannn.

Syida@Mrs K said...

yes dear...
hati mak bapa nye boleh tahan lagi...yang kesian budak2. Bukan senang dorang nak terima kata2 orang. Lama2 dorang rasa rendah diri pula...tu yang saya nak elak sangat.

UmmiAbi said...

Biar ape org ckp...mulut org mmg xleh tutup,lainlah kalau mulut tempayan..hehe. Yg pnting, kita tahu sapa & cara anak2 kita... Kita yg mendidik mereka, Lgpun nt besar diorang yg mendoakan kita, bukan diorang yang ske compare tu kan?hehe

Syida@Mrs K said...

TQ UmmiAbi..
Setuju. But in the other hand,culture orang kita malas nak tegur org macam ni sebab tak nak dorang kecil hati walau hati kita dah terbakar. Sesekali orang macam ni kita kena tegur juga supaya mereka sedar dan faham.Anak2 kita hak kita jadi kita kena jaga hak kita.Orang lain takde hak nak buat anak kita hilang self esteem..what do u think?...:)

syiela said...

Mulut orangkan memang susah nak tutup tapi kita sebagai parents dan anak2 kita yang di compare2 tu...

orang kita selalunya camtu lakan... korang tak rasai so boleh main cakap je

Syida@Mrs K said...

betuk syiela...anak kita hak kita. Tak boleh bagi orang sakiti hati mereka. Ini boleh menjejaskan self esteem mereka.

 

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