Saturday, May 19, 2012

Sibling Rivalry..owh..fening...!

Tukang tulis... Syida@Mrs K at 4:17 AM



Quote from "Smart Parents Brighter Kids book, written by Zaid Mohamad" Though disturbing and upsetting to parents, sibling rivalry is not that bad and quite normal. It is usually just another phase of growing up" :) phewww...

Ok mama fening...makin besar 3 beradik ni dah pandai "sibling rivalry"...or bergaduh adik-beradik. Entry ni Mama concentrate pada twin dulu key sebab we had a loooong talk yesterday about it with the boys. 

This few weeks Mama dah sense something not right with Hazim. Dapat rasa ada something yang dia tak luahkan. Mungkin mother's instinct kot. You can feel he is not happy of something. As usual memang ada ajer 2 beradik ni nak argue tapi tak pernah tahap melampau. But I can sense something not right dalam hati Hazim. 

So semalam after hearing their constant this and that argument. I butt in sebab Hazim gets really emotional. Bila Mama tanya kenapa benda kecil pun nk gaduh dan Hazim cepat sedih he suddenly broke to tears. Dia kata takde apa2. Bila Mama kata " Cakap la..Mama tahu ada something yang Hazim nak cakap tapi simpan kan.." Hazim finally said dengan mata berkaca-kaca..." Mana Mama tahu?.." I said I am your mom of course I know. When he tell me his stories and why he is unhappy then I realized. He has been holding it back and kept silent in his heart for quite some time. A simple coloring contest can be very frustrating to children. Not winning or his other twin wins but he's not even though he tried very hard can be a very big pressure to young children. Its especially hurt and annoyed when people kept on saying about it and questioning his abilities. Mama tak nak citer detail because it might hurt Hazim later on (if one day he reads this...nanti dia tak percaya nak kongsi nama girlfriend dia kat Mama pulak..hihi)

Wow...Mama tak terpikir "The Day" finally came. I am prepared but still not sure. The Day yang perlukan Mama untuk bercakap dgn bijak agar anak2 tak merasa dibandingkan atau kurang perhatian. I had 2 lonnnngggg talks to make them clear that kemenangan mereka tidak menjadi ukuran bagi Mama Abah. Mama Abah tahu potensi masing2 dan hanya kerana seorang menang competition doesnt meant lagi sorang yang tak menang tak bagus. Penilaian dibuat mengikut pendapat orang itu yang mana kita tak boleh nak tentukan. Tak menang kali ni mungkin lain kali. Atau mungkin tak menang contest ni mungkin menang contest yang berlainan konsep.

"Mungkin Hazim rasa annoyed bila Haziq talked about it sooooo many time and feltl proud of it. Walaupun Haziq tak ada niat nak show off. Mungkin Hazim frust sebab dia dah buat yang terbaik tapi tak menang pertandingan tu. Atau mungkin Hazim rasa bored bila ada yang cakap Haziq dapat hadiah, Hazim tak dapat."

These factors penyumbang kepada rasa tidak puas hati yang mereka berdua tunjukkan sejak akhir2 ini. Walau tak direct tapi Mama dapat sense it. Sebelum ni dah terdetik tapi Mama diamkan sebab tak nak butt in until they confess.

Finally, they realized each other fault and says sorry with big hugs and kisses. (*sob..sob..sob..touching tau kalau tengok..)

But Mama realized, sooner they will face more challenging path in life which require them to be strong and ignored the comparison arises. Comparison which can fuel the sibling rivalry.....

P/s Mohon pada Allah agar diberi petunjuk menjadi Mama yang terbaik dan bijak untuk anak2..Amin..
P/s2: tak aciiiii..Mr Hubby belum balik time tu so I have to do the talking all by myself as this situation need urgent healing work fast! :)








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